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The Language We Use Matters

Eevis on March 11, 2023

This is my fourth year of writing to Dev's campaign around International Women's Day, previously known as "Nevertheless, She/They coded" and now "W...
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Masashi

I'm really happy to see this article. Tiny steps that I take everyday usually aren't enough. Being the son of my mom(a feminist) I try to diminish these inequalities against women and I think that this post was a very effective way.
I just hope that this post "blows up" and gets a lot of views.

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Nicolas Bailly • Edited

Hi,

I agree with the idea of using they, but just to nitpick about the grammar, it still takes a plural form even when it refers to a single person. For example "I have a client on the line, they tell me production is crashing", we use they because nobody cares if the client is a man or a woman, but we still say tell and not tells.

Unfortunately it means that taken completely out of context, "they code" will be understood as several people. If it's important to make it clear it's a singular, we're left with "He or she codes", or "One codes", which are also fine IMO in the rare cases where "they" is too ambiguous.

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Eevis

That was actually a typo, missed in when proofreading :)

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Nicolas Bailly

Ahah, makes sense then. I have seen stuff like "they is" around and assumed people didn't know how to use it, but come to think of it it's probably often a matter of "I went and replaced the pronouns but forgot to change the verb".

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Ethan Azariah • Edited

As a kid, it became clear to me that language was being used in a way which hurt women and I tried to always use "they" when gender was unknown. I got into trouble for it. Furious adults, including women, including female teachers, would shout at me that when gender is unknown, you use "he". The other kids I knew had no trouble understanding "they", and they used it themselves. The singular was almost always clear from context. It was a world where many men felt threatened if their wives wanted to drive, and many women felt threatened if their husband tried to do anything in the kitchen. So many people were so insecure! Yet theirs was the generation who had fought in and survived the Second World War. Maybe it was PTSD. The generation between theirs and mine seemed more secure, but the English teachers would still shout at you in front of the whole class.

I fairly recently learned that the singular they used to be normal in English. My memory isn't very good, but there were some prominent names... Chaucer I think? I'm more sure that Bede, writing at the very dawn of modern English, used something like it. I can't remember if Shakespeare used the singular they too, but it would be worth a check.

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Dmitry Amelchenko

I agree with the article.
Personally, I've been very curious about the wide acceptance of the curse words in our day to day lives. I even asked questions in public forums -- to my surprise I found that it seemed to be a social norm to use the "f" word casually. Honestly, I felt like I'm the only one who cares to even notice, so, I just accepted the reality and stopped questioning, now I'm just filtering out the "noise".

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Michael

Brilliant! Thank you so much—not only for your speaking-from-the-heart approach, but also for a subject long overdue! I appreciate that you cared enough to stand up and say, "No! No more!" while coming at it in a sensitive, "you probably don't realize it, but that hurts when you do that."
I know you touched on this extending beyond gender, which I also appreciate. And though I have several disabilities, I must admit that, though thankfully not so much anymore, I will occasionally find myself saying e.g., "That was a lame-a*ed excuse," and while you will find in the Oxford English Dictionary that even just the 'lame' part will be defined as 'weak, or without merit,' which is, Oxford Dictionary or not, rather insensitive. Why is someone automatically considered or defined as being weak simply because of their inability to walk? But even in today's society, though far more sensitive to gender and sexual preferences or affiliations, you will still hear someone use, "That's so gay!" Putting aside the fact that not even 60 years ago, that would have been a compliment, for, e.g., a happy and uplifting painting, how did it come to basically mean the same thing as the lame or lame-a*ed examples above at best, and at worst, stupid, or undesirable in some way? Nobody pays attention to their language anymore, just like you were saying.

I am sorry that I cannot remember what it was called, but there is an entire science revolving around not using any pronouns, none! It actually leaves out several words or types of words (how frustrating, I can't even find it on Wikipedia, which is where I originally found it) but several paragraphs of examples were given, and the odd thing is, it does not look very difficult at all! In fact, most people don't even notice that these words are missing because it (at least in the examples) doesn't detract from the overall flow of the sentences and paragraphs. But I tried to do the same thing and, while I won't call myself particularly intelligent, I am able to hold my own, if you like, and I could not do it! Anyway, my point is that while the personal opinions, the pronouns, as I mentioned above and a few other words or word types that I can't remember, maybe it is time for just such a new way of writing at the very least, and it would be great if it carried over into everyday speech. I hate to say it, but while I don't know about other languages aside for the Finnish examples you gave, thank you, I must admit that the English language is perhaps the biggest culprit for lack of a better phrase. In the mean time, you are off to a great start and you have my vote. Being a heterosexual male with skin light enough to burn in an hour of direct sunlight, it is rather difficult to find a middle ground when it comes to not automatically being painted a bigot before I open my mouth, I will say that I was shocked and saddened to read that the N word is still used freely and frequently in Finnish Television. I can think of no equivalent insult to correspond to a white person. But as I said, you are off to a wonderful start. Thank you again! ?
Respectfully,
Michael C.

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David

Important article, thanks for this!

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Rachel Fazio

I loved this article, that is all! Thank you for sharing Eevis.