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Domenico Solazzo
Domenico Solazzo

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Explain what a programmer does. Wrong answers only

Let's have another fun challenge.

Explain what a programmer does, but only wrong answer accepted!

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I will start:

Programmers will fix your printer!

Top comments (80)

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catmcgeecode profile image
Cat McGee

We start fires so we can put them out

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ben profile image
Ben Halpern

Sometimes we hand the fire off to someone else to put out.

fire

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ben profile image
Ben Halpern

Pro-Grahammers are the nickname for lobbyists who argue in favor of Lindsay Graham's agenda.

They're not generally a well-liked group.

graham

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stereoplegic profile image
Mike Bybee

That's not a wrong answer!

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jpantunes profile image
JP Antunes

Programmers do things, not because they are easy, but because they thought they were going to be easy.

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jeromegamez profile image
Jérôme Gamez

That's not a wrong answer 🤔😂

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jpantunes profile image
JP Antunes

Well.. the answer is not wrong, but it's the wrong answer to give :-)

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jeromegamez profile image
Jérôme Gamez

Oh, you got a point! 😭

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jeromegamez profile image
Jérôme Gamez

A programmer might not be as fast as an Instagrammer, but definitely heavier than a kilogrammer 🤓

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dentych profile image
Dennis

This one takes the cake imo 😂

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koti profile image
Menelaos Kotoglou • Edited

Programmers will format your PC.

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dinowilliam profile image
William Ferreira de Paula

The programmers came to solve problems that would not exist if there were no computers!
Crazy

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Eljay-Adobe

A programmer is someone who is in a perpetual catatonic state, and can only sit for 8+ hours a day while sitting unnaturally close to a display and staring intently at it for the entire duration. Some programmers are in a nearly vegetative state, whereas others afflicted by a mild form of Tourette's syndrome may occasionally utter a discouraging word out loud. Most programmers are naturally shy and introverted, and can only stare at their shoes while trying to awkwardly engage with others in social discourse. Extroverted programmers have the audacity to stare at the person's shoes while trying to awkwardly engage with others in social discourse. Programmers tend to eat two-dimensional food that is slid under their door, and drink copious amounts of caffeinated beverages. Programmers caught in the wild will fret about not being able to stare at a display approximately 23 inches from their face, and often will take up photography so they can stare at a camera which is 23 inches from the photographed subject. The mating habits of programmers can only be described as an evolutionary dead-end. Before the invention of computers, programmers spent their time staring at other displays like chalkboards or whiteboards or blank pieces of paper. Ancient Greek programmers would stare at circles on the ground in complete obliviousness to their surroundings, while barbarian invaders would skewer them. Some programmers become fabulously wealthy, which allows them to buy even bigger displays to stare at.

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didibonocore profile image
didiBonocore

Best thing I read today! U made my day, Sir.

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ecognito profile image
E Cognito

Hey! Can you fix my printer?

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stereoplegic profile image
Mike Bybee

I came here to say this.

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k_the_c profile image
Kris

They create the pamphlets that they hand out at plays and sporting events

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Alvaro Montoro

A programmer is a PRO at Grammer: they correct everybody's English writing, grammar, and syntax. They are a branch of the police force (the Grammar Police), and because of that, they are all public servants and have to wear uniform to work.

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mellen profile image
Matt Ellen

an enee fuul no, spelling izunt part uv grammer

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_garybell profile image
Gary Bell

A programmer just sits typing all day. It can't be that hard!

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Josef Biehler

We go to the coffee machine quite often which induces a high risk of having an accident in the office!

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g4vill profile image
Gabriel Villegas

A programmer can hack Facebook.

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Richard Dapice • Edited

Programmers write 100% testested regression free code.

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pankajtanwarbanna profile image
Pankaj Tanwar

Programmers program.🙊

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Adam Crockett

Sitting on my sofa overseeing my 2 year old clean the pen he just put on our living room chairs. Whilst laptop sits there waiting for me.

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Sarah Price

Programmers learn how to break the computer so we can increase the time it takes to fix a simple bug. Therefore, forcing employers and clients to have to pay us more. In this way, we make simple things hard to increase our mystery and powers.