It's pronounced Diane. I do data architecture, operations, and backend development. In my spare time I maintain Massive.js, a data mapper for Node.js and PostgreSQL.
I don't take "like I'm five" literally most of the time, and especially not when the question addresses a specific implementation like this one. If it were "explain relational databases like I'm five", then it might be time to break out the story about Princess Architecta and her marvelous castle analytics. But Salim already has sufficient knowledge of what a relational database is and does to want to hear reasons he should choose Postgres over other offerings. A purely reductive high-level view wouldn't be helpful.
I don't take "like I'm five" literally most of the time, and especially not when the question addresses a specific implementation like this one. If it were "explain relational databases like I'm five", then it might be time to break out the story about Princess Architecta and her marvelous castle analytics. But Salim already has sufficient knowledge of what a relational database is and does to want to hear reasons he should choose Postgres over other offerings. A purely reductive high-level view wouldn't be helpful.
"Explain It Like I'm Maybe 18 or 19, I've Heard of Things But Have Very Little Experience"
Not very catchy. :/