DEV Community

loading...
Cover image for What is software? (wrong answers only)

What is software? (wrong answers only)

ben profile image Ben Halpern ・1 min read

Entertain me.

Discussion (35)

pic
Editor guide
Collapse
panditapan profile image
Pandita

software: the warm feeling of recently washed and dried clothes * - * (one of my favorite feelings)

girl carrying clothes

Collapse
isarisariver profile image
Marian Beck

OK, you win :D

Collapse
ben profile image
Collapse
stereoplegic profile image
Mike Bybee

Speaking in otherworldly languages, summoning demons to do your bidding.
🐐🤘😈

Collapse
scgrk profile image
Stephen Gerkin

I think the only incorrect part of this statement is the assumption that the demons will do your bidding.

Collapse
stereoplegic profile image
Mike Bybee

*in the hope that they

Thread Thread
scgrk profile image
Stephen Gerkin

If they don't do your bidding, we can always just redefine what our bidding was in the first place! ;)

Collapse
quintisimo profile image
Quintus Cardozo

It's like hardware but soft and flexible

Collapse
pp profile image
Paweł Ludwiczak

"Did you try turning it off and on again?"

Collapse
andreidascalu profile image
Andrei Dascalu

Software is the pen name of the person who first said "it works on my machine"

Collapse
fnh profile image
Fabian

The only reasonable way to make a decent living with dadaistic poetry.

Collapse
cubiclesocial profile image
cubiclesocial

Top 6 software development languages in 2020

  1. HTML
  2. SQL
  3. XML
  4. JSON
  5. CSV
  6. PDF
  7. DOCX
Collapse
mellen profile image
Matt Ellen

Software is the synergising of customer expectation management with business focussed applications of core competencies, fungible markets, and green field explorations.

With software we are able to maximise the potentiation of event driven, blue-sky thinking to truly move forward into utilizing profit focussed attention capture effectiveness.

Collapse
andreidascalu profile image
Andrei Dascalu

The result of mixing code with too much coffee

Collapse
albertulysses profile image
Albert Ulysses

It's when you unplug the modem from the socket, wait ten seconds, and plug it back in. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Collapse
rehmatfalcon profile image
Kushal Niroula

Just google it, it's not that HARD 😂🤣😁

Collapse
winstonpuckett profile image
Winston Puckett

It's like softserve, but you put it on your body.

Collapse
xyn profile image
Mydrax

Software is one of 2 states that any man can be in

Collapse
robbyrussell profile image
Collapse
ben profile image
Ben Halpern Author

But is that wrong? 🤔

Collapse
eomm profile image
Manuel Spigolon

It is a tool for lazy people, to become active ones instead

Collapse
alaindet profile image
Alain D'Ettorre

Software is the only legal drug they even pay you to use

Collapse
kwitgit profile image
kwitgit

Typing orders at tiny chunks of poisoned sand to make them do math. Oh sorry... you said wrong answers.

Collapse
kausthubmayuram profile image
Mayuram Kausthub

Software is RAM's best friend

Collapse
damla profile image
Damla Köksal

Spaghetti.

Collapse
rahxuls profile image
Rahul

Not an answer but 2min silence for software developers who are reading this.

Collapse
kimlimjustin profile image
Justin Maximillian Kimlim

The opposite of hardware.

Collapse
enriquem profile image
Enrique Matta-Rodriguez

Software: Magical words that force wires and metal in a box to flip the on and off switch a lot really fast.

Collapse
ifarmgolems profile image
Patrik Jajcay

As it's an opposite of hardware, it doesn't exist since you can't touch it.

Collapse
andreidascalu profile image
Andrei Dascalu

It's what gets me free access to coca cola, game consoles, coffee andbpizza

Collapse
akashkaintura profile image
AKASH KAINTURA

which feels soft when touched :)

Collapse
shadowtime2000 profile image
shadowtime2000

Thou speak'st wiser than thou art softly ware of

Collapse
greeder59 profile image
Gordon Reeder

The department secretary?

Look, you said that you wanted wrong answers.

Collapse
netpenguins profile image
Chad Wilson

Cotton plates, silk cups wool bowls.......

Collapse
sdesires profile image
*•.¸☠ ѕ∂єѕιяєѕ ☠¸.•*

Software is that squishy wet thing that you step in on the floor in the middle of the night on the way to the bathroom.