Okay, I'm going for it.
I've never written in a blog or anything but this time I feel like I need it since I don't know where to turn, and why I've chosen here because I've never liked that much a community until I've found dev.to (between I have the stickers and I really like).
So my story began when I got recruited by a communication and marketing agency that just opened in my city as an intern while still studying for my master degree in Big data and cloud computing, so first I began with creating a desktop app (with JAVA) and administrating Salesforce ( Something I've never heard ) then after 6 months I finished my intern and they proposed to stay with them as a Big Data Developer with a good salary for someone who still didn't finish study, while I was happy having my first job with a good salary and also as a Big Data developer, and also the CEO of the company told me that I'm a good piece of his company and that I'm smart and dynamic ... well, I was so happy. First I was as an administer of Salesforce and sometimes develop in it, while since when something is new for me I found it exciting and start learning it so I start learning salesforce and executing what I learn in the field well it was going well, but then I stoped learning, the company don't have many projects so we work momentarily like once in 2 months and for all the month nothing to do just taking care if any technical issues happen in the call centre, First I said well I will use all this free time to learn more about big data and try to apply something and I'm reciving my salary it's cool I can be underpendant.Days going with no work to do in the company just taking care of the technical issues in the Call center desktops so I lost envy to code or to do anything It has nothing to do with my dream job I don't even do things in relation to code, now I feel like I'm scared of code ,it's been 7 months for me in the comapny and without touching one letter of code, I keep reading here and articles about tech, programming, project but I can't begin or touch anything in relation . I was so good at coding (since I was the best in my class and stuff) and this wasn't important I was so happy touching code, reading it, staying nights trying to find a solution of problems, coding robots, participating in competitions well I found myself in all coding memes. Now I can't even touch a code, every time I try to begin something my mind tells me " bro you haven't code for a months you can't do things now" I lost all the envy to code even if coding was the best thing I've learnt and I've never been this sure about what I want to study, but now I lost it and I don't have someone to talk with him about this that can understand me (well I do with my girlfriend but she can't really understand since she has no relation with coding or anything in relation ), I'm even scared to apply for other jobs because I feel like I have nothing in my mind to sell now even if I feel lke I do but it's blocked. Well I'm not good in English or even at writing I don't know if what I wrote will be read by someone or will I receive any comments or answers but my mind told me maybe someone in this community may understand me or something.
Thank you for reading.
(Sorry for my poor English)
Okay, I'm going for it.