- We're not doctors (well, most of us). Refrain from making diagnosis for others (e.g., labeling someone as a drama queen or a narcissist.) Instead, focus on addressing their specific behaviors.
- Don't label the person; label the behavior. Some common problematic behaviors include being overly argumentative, placing blame, excessive criticism, defensiveness, and emotional outbursts.
- Our perspective significantly influences our emotions and actions. When faced with conflicts, start by examining your thoughts and perspective. Ask yourself, "Why would a perfectly reasonable and sane person behave this way?"
- Be mindful of irresponsible language such as blame, excuses, or playing the "grass is greener" game. Even as a joke, irresponsible language can have negative consequences.
- To identify problematic behaviors, precisely define what the person is doing that you find unacceptable. Understand how these actions affect both you and the team.
- Telling someone that their behavior is annoying you rarely leads to positive change. Instead, frame the issue as their problem and motivate them to change by answering: 1) What specific behavior needs to change? 2) How would the change benefit the individual? 3) How would the organization benefit from the change?
- If you're new to a company, take the time to observe for a reasonable period before proposing or making changes.
- Sometimes we feel powerless when people lose control, insult others, or yell. Especially when we're not in a position of authority. However, remember that we do have control. Just as the law works when enforced, it's up to us to set boundaries and act when others cross them. Clearly communicate the consequences for crossing those boundaries and be prepared to follow through.
Did You have any experience dealing with conflicting people? Share with us to improve together!
Top comments (7)
Well said! I'm currently reading Crucial Conversations and you touched on several of the concepts they talk about in the book! It's really nice to see those same topics "out in the wild"!
Thank you for sharing, and keep up the awesome work!
Thank You for the comment and support, I'm very happy You liked it!
I greatly respect Crucial Conversations. I read the book a few months ago and even in such short time its advice helped me a lot both in personal and professional life. I also wrote some of books thoughts mixed with mine ones in an earlier post. I'd be interested hearing Your thoughts on this book, so please send me a link in case You publish something on that in the future. Or we can also discuss it near a cup of tea if You wish. :))
I was just about to recommend that book myself - an absolute must-read in the professional world, in my opinion.
An insightful article that focuses on the most effective strategies for managing conflicts with stakeholders. This resource outlines practical Cmaconsulting cmaconsulting.com.au/best-strategi... approaches and methods to handle disagreements and disputes that commonly arise in diverse stakeholder environments. It stresses the value of proactive conflict resolution, showcasing how understanding perspectives, negotiation, and collaboration can lead to mutually beneficial outcomes in stakeholder management.
Great! Thank You very much for the addition!
Great article. Conflict resolution skills are an amazing asset.
Thank You! Indeed, often when such problematic situations happen, I feel lost and unsure how to react. So I believe that preparing ahead and having a few techniques at hand might be very helpful.