Bad CSS-Dad jokes

#css #watercooler #html #webdev

As a dad who works with CSS, it was only a matter of time before I started cracking bad dad jokes about web development and CSS (isn't that what I've been doing all along?)

So, here you go: a collection of some really bad CSS-dad jokes. Several have already made it to the comiCSS site. Some others may end up as a cartoon sooner rather than later. Some are originals, and many are adaptations of existing dad jokes. None of them are AI-generated. All of them are wonderfully awful... and, unfortunately (for you), you are in for some (questionable) CSS fun!

All the drawings accompanying this article are HTML and CSS. I will link to the source code when available.

Here we go...

What is CSS Developers' favorite drink?
:root beer.

I must admit this is a PG version. After sharing this joke online the other day, I got some alternatives that also work for Web Developers:

strong .coffee { filter: none }
DOM Perignon
FlexBox wine

Why did the chicken cross the web?
To get to the other site.

They are not all going to be winners... actually... most of them won't be winners at all.

Me (a dad) when using animation-direction: reverse.
"Ah! This takes me back."

I was going to tell you a joke about negative animation-delay...
but you didn't get it.

Why did the CSS file go shopping for clothes?
It needed a new style.

What's SVG's favorite TV host?
Doctor Fill.

Why couldn't the Web Developer align the div?
Because it was positioned off-the-grid.

Why do Web Developers have trust issues?
Because DarkGray.

Ok, this one does not really have a punchline (do any of them anyway?) But it is true: in CSS, DarkGray is lighter than Gray . Which is interestingly annoying. Another weird fact about CSS: the bolder font-weight can be lighter than the bold font weight. Because... CSS?

Why are CSS Developers always sad?
They never float on air.

I recently posted an alternative comic to this one just a few weeks ago. You can find a live demo and source code here.

Why did the Web Developer stop going to the lazy river?
They didn't like to float.

How do CSS Developers stay on top of things?
They use z-index: max(Infinity);

I also did an alternative to this one on the site (source code). The result is neat, and I think the wooden texture (also in CSS) is well achieved.

Why does the CSS file never feel cold?
Because it always has an extra @layer.

Why do people tend to avoid Web Developers?
Because they are just flexing all the time.

CSS Developers are great dancers,
they know all the steps()

How many CSS Developers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It is a hardware issue.

How many CSS Developers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They are Ok working on dark mode.

How many JavaScript Developers does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But they'll need 5GB in node_modules, TailwindCSS, their very own implementation of the lefty-loosey-righty-tighty.js library, and the latest MacBook Pro to handle everything. The resulting JS file will be 8MB and only change the light bulb if the room has Chrome in it.

Why do Web Developers have a tough time getting a driver's license?
They pass the written or the driving test, but they rarely clear:both

Brains are amazing. they work nonstop 24/7 from the moment you are born until the moment you need to remember if it's align-text or text-align.

And that's it! That was the last one... which also has an HTML+CSS version on the comiCSS site. I hope you enjoyed them and that they were not as terrible as you expected.

Have a great time!