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I'm Alejandra and it turns out I'm Pansexual!

Alejandra Quetzalli ๐Ÿพ
ยกHola! ๐Ÿ“„ Senior Docs Writer at docs.planetscale.com. ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป Founded @sheCodesNow. ๐Ÿฆฎ Canela is my Service Dog, I'm autistic๐Ÿง . ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ Latina. ๐ŸŽ™ @privilegeintech podcast host.
ใƒปUpdated on ใƒป2 min read

๐Ÿ˜ž My mother brought me up in a religious cult

I was a kid. I didn't exactly have a choice in the matter! One of the many harmful teachings this cult preached was immense homophobia.

As a result of this, I began dealing with guilt and disgust toward myself since the age of 12. That was the age I first realized women attracted me too.

๐Ÿ›ซ In 2012, I accidentally moved to Seattle

By now, I was in my early twenties. I had long since left my family and that cult. This was part of the reason I decided to move as far away as possible, and start fresh.

For me, that ended up being Seattle. (long story)

Seattle shocked me. It was SO different! And "being gay" seemed almost popular. I had never been around so many people who weren't afraid to hold hands with the same sex... kiss the same sex in public... I mean, what kind of city was this?? Did people really not feel "afraid of backlash" by displaying it?

It took me a while to calm down and realize that this was just a very liberal city and that this place was a pretty good place to be if you were part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ Seeing the freedom of actions displayed in Seattle encouraged me to come out

For the first time, I didn't feel afraid of what my community would say if I mentioned I enjoyed dating women too.

I "came out" for the first time and not knowing what "my label" was, I simply went by "Bisexual."

๐Ÿค” But Bisexual didn't fully cut it?

The first time I dated a transgender woman, I realized that "bisexual" didn't really fully explain me.

I didn't care about gender, just the personality and way of being.

And so, I realized that "Pansexual" felt a better fit for me.

๐Ÿค— I find support in...

At this point of my life, I am lucky to say I no longer battle with guilt for being part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

But in the beginning, talking about it with close friends and my therapist helped iron those things out.

Bottling in never helps!

๐Ÿ’œ It feels awesome to finally feel "allowed" to be me.

Discussion (9)

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graciegregory profile image
Gracie Gregory (she/her)

I'm so glad you finally feel allowed to be you. Thank you for being here and sharing with us.

โ€” Oh and thanks for being an AWS Developer Advocate! So many AWS tools to get to know and y'all make that possible. ๐Ÿ’–

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Alejandra Quetzalli ๐Ÿพ Author

Thank you โ˜บ๏ธ ๐Ÿ’œ

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Stephanie Handsteiner

I'm glad, that you finally found a place where you can truly be yourself. ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ

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straleb profile image
Strahinja Babiฤ‡

Big kudos on the headline, love the pun hehe
Grats that you feel comfortable in your skin :)

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Alejandra Quetzalli ๐Ÿพ Author

hehe I had fun with that tagline ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ

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Isaac Lyman • Edited

Community mod here. There are no rules against posts like this, and in fact, there's plenty of precedent for posts of a personal nature written by developers. If something isn't relevant to you you're not required to read it. We don't practice that type of gatekeeping here on DEV.

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Alejandra Quetzalli ๐Ÿพ Author

Thank you for helping moderate for these type of things! I really appreciate you and the team. ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŽ‰

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Isaac Lyman

We're here for you!