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Discussion on: Software People — How Do You Deal With Stress/Bullies/Frustration?

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ahmadawais profile image
Ahmad Awais ⚡️ • Edited

One thing I often struggle with is discussing the hard things in tech. Things that take a serious toll on your health. Maybe there should be something like Software Therapy for situations like these. A therapist that'd understand you and would advise you better being a software person themselves. Coz otherwise they wouldn't understand a thing.

Things which I can't discuss with my mentor (to not feel so vulnerable), with my direct lead (to not be judged), with my parents (to not make them worried) — what should I do, not everything can/should be discussed in the public.

Keeping such stuff to yourself makes you or me at least more frustrated about it. What do you do when that happens to you?

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defiance profile image
Defiance Black • Edited

Take better care of yourself.

If you keep it inside, you will fester/rot/explode.

Find your outlet.

Apparently you have jogging and that's great, but you can't jog all the time.

If your work is taking a toll on your health (outside of a coal mine, no less) something is wrong with your work. We've (mostly?) all been there. Not everyone makes it out with mind and body in tact, but you will.

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ahmadawais profile image
Ahmad Awais ⚡️

Trying my best to do that. Thanks for the kind words ☝

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defiance profile image
Defiance Black

Be patient with yourself too. People will always be people, and self care is a life long practice.

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thecodetrane profile image
Michael Cain

As someone who has been in and out of therapy for almost 30 years now, I can tell you what you deal with has much more to do with being a human than it does with being a software developer. Therapy is a good thing, and I recommend finding one that you are comfortable getting emotionally naked with.

Feelings of inadequacy, imposter syndrome, fear of reprisal from your teammates or your supervisor; these are all pretty natural things to endure in our field. I know I have gotten a lot out of therapy, as well as Jordan Peterson’s book “12 Rules for Life”.

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ahmadawais profile image
Ahmad Awais ⚡️

Goes to buy the book.

What I meant was therapy or advice from someone who's been in such conditions and have had a career in software. Coz trying to explain the software relevant issues that led to stress would not do much good with a layman in software terms.

Just a thought.