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Joe Eames for Thinkster

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You want this too much

As you move through the time you spend here, you quickly learn that there are things you can obtain through work and effort. As you grow you gain bigger and bigger wants and desires.

And then you learn to dream. The big dreams. I don't mean the moderate desires that are directly achievable, but the big things. The ones that you can influence, but don't have direct control over: a promotion at work, a romantic relationship, a successful business, a dream job, etc.

And so you begin to focus. That dream begins to take a central place in your life. You have watched movies that show someone who worked and worked on an "impossible dream" and achieved it. You will be just like that person. You read books on motivation, strategy, and even tactics in this thing. You tirelessly work towards this goal. You have belief and faith in yourself, in the work and effort you're putting in, and in the Universe and your Higher Power to help you obtain what you want. You know this is a true and good desire. You only want to make the world a better place by achieving this dream. Certainly, things will work out. You commit to never giving up, No matter what, you will work and sacrifice to obtain the goal you have set for yourself.

And all the while the fear grows: the fear of failure, fear of wasting your time, fear that you're not good enough, fear of how your life will be destroyed if you lose what you care most about.

Life is mostly full of things we cannot control. You can't force someone to fall in love with you or to stay in love with you. You can't control death. You can't control the market. One of the few things that CAN be guaranteed in life is that we will not accomplish all of our desires and dreams.

When that failure inevitably comes…when your spouse leaves you, or you are passed over for a promotion, or you don't get hired by that company you are applying to, or your business fails, what effect will it have on you? Another way to ask this question is to ask, "What will you learn?"

Will you learn that your efforts are fruitless and you shouldn't have bothered? Will you learn that you wasted your time? Will you learn that men/women/people can't be trusted? Will you learn that life is cruel and capricious and ugly? Will you learn that pain is more powerful than joy?

Do you want it too much?

Or will you learn to "rise and rise again"? Will you learn that it's better to be an optimist and a fool than to be a pessimist and right? Will you learn that the journey is more important than the destination? Will you learn that failure is not a status, but a state of mind? Will you get up and finish the race?

What is it that you want too much? What is it that you are afraid most of losing? It helps to talk about it.

Happy coding!

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