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Phase-4: How did I get here?!

I think maybe it is a surprise to me more than it is to anyone else that I have made it all the way to the end of Phase 4 at FlatIron.

Never did I think I would endeavor to start this journey, but to think that I would actually reach the near-end to it? Unimaginable.

I have failed utterly to have a blog that teaches anything about tech so I figured I would continue on that road.

I've never been quite sure what to say here when it comes to the end of the phases. Despite learning so, so much I never feel as if I'm at the liberty to teach you anything.

I don't think I've ever felt imposter syndrome this strong and this often before. Even when I was taking my EMS certification. I genuinely feel that saving a human life was easier than coding has ever been.

Communication with others has never been my strong point, which is why I've always felt I understood a computer better. However, computers are also bad at communicating with humans and very finicky (how relatable).

I guess I forgot to factor in that I am also a human (despite how hard I've tried to be the opposite) and I would also have a bit of an up and down relationship with my dear computer.

But we made it! We're here! Phase-5 is on the horizon! Do I deserve to be here? I'm unsure.

I'm currently in project mode, as I have been with all the other blogs I've quickly written in a panic.

We are at the point of building an entire frontend and backend. The frontend being React and the backend being Rails.

I've completely surprised myself by being more interested in backend and data handling. I'm an artist and have been drawing and making little artistic projects since I was young. I thought that the styling process of the front end would suit me better, but it's entirely the opposite.

It reminds me of being in school, when math started making sense more than anything else. Everything else felt nuanced, causing me to get caught up and confused by the subtle shades of grey. Math was black and white, it made sense.

However, being a full-stack developer means dealing with all shades and everything in between.

I have to learn to develop both skills fully in order to be a software engineer that any company would invite to their team.

Phase 5 is quickly approaching like an enemy in a video game where you hear the boss music playing long before you ever see them.

Let's see if, left to my own devices, I can come up with something that proves I've spent almost 15 weeks working my *** off.

See you then!

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