That's what the book "The Coaching Habit" by Michael Bungay Stanier tries to teach. It does that by going over seven different questions that you ...
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Doesn't the 'how can I help you?' question give someone the feeling he or she 'needs' help.
At work, we are advised to ask 'what can I do for you' :)
Totally agree with the 'why' section.
And especially the active listening. It takes time to be aware of how hard it is to be fully with a person..
I for one could ask better questions as a mentor and mentee. And half of that is also listening and understanding why someone thinks a way. Thanks for writing this