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Discussion on: Are you a ladder or a roadblock?

panditapan profile image

"It is every person's responsibility to represent the groups of which they are members in a positive manner"

Ah yes, I agree with this a lot.

It's quite hard tho' due to cultural shocks, what might be normal for me might be completely abnormal to another culture. It's possible that you're missing something in the etiquette or whatnot and you're offending them and they're retaliating or they're expecting you to do something you just don't know you have to do! As an immigrant, it's happened to me a lot sobs

I'll put a dumb but real example that happened to me two weeks ago: whenever someone asks me for forgiveness I tell them "relax" which in my country means "it's okay, no problem" but this man from a different culture asked me why on earth do I always tell him to relax that he's relaxed! and just like that, I offended someone from another culture. /sad shrug

So while I recognize that we need to be more understanding of each other, it's difficult because you're used to doing things one way and the other person in another way, miscommunication happens and feelings/pride are all hurt.

Anyway, I hope you manage to find that one candidate tho' good luck! :3

codemouse92 profile image
Jason C. McDonald Author

Good perspective.

Given my academic background in intercultural communication, I have checked into etiquette regarding this particular country, which I do in general anyway. (And, as I said, someone from said country pointed out this was a trend in his country.) I'm also pretty good at picking up on the non-verbals indicating someone getting offended — and much non-verbal communication is cross-culturally consistent.

Long story short, it seems quite unlikely that twenty-six people would be insulted, all be able to hide it from their non-verbal communication altogether, and then all respond in the exact same "retaliatory" fashion.

That said, although it seems utterly unlikely, if that were the case, that would still be a point of concern with those twenty-six. It would mean that, although most of them are either attending school in the U.S. or at least trying to find work there, they had not learned basic American business culture (you should always read up on other business cultures before working with them!). It would also mean that all of them felt that the best way to correct the situation was by covering it up and then retaliating — and I'd say that would be more unhireable than unreliability!

I hope I find that one candidate soon too. Thanks for your well wishes. :)