re: I am being cyberbullied and it's affecting my mental health. This is my personal cure. VIEW POST


Check this out: an historical post about bullying by a parent.

Most of it is relevant here, especially the perspective parts. Specifically:

If your kid is being bullied, the problem at hand is not:

  1. your kids self confidence.
  2. the parents or their interactions with the bully.
  3. niceness (or adult professionalism in the case of workplace bullying) None of these address the one thing that has to be dealt with directly: the bully. You can't expect to stop the bullying by changing your kid.

Substitute the "your kid" parts with "you". There's other relevant parts, also.

But the bottom line is this: If these people are affecting your bottom line, then they need to not affect your bottom line.

You are not without resources. If this is going on Udemy, report them. If it's happening on twitter, report them. If it's happening on any service that has a public face, report them.

When they invaded your personal space, they gave up all rights and claims to their own personal space. If, by reporting them, they lose stuff they spent money on, that is their problem not yours.

Blocking is absolutely a tool in your shed, but I would NOT wholesale block them right now as "anything they say can and should be used against them". Blocking them should be a last resort not because of any social reason, but because they will continue to give you documentation that you can use against them. Am I wrong about this up to this point?

The main thing about that post I linked is that bullies have a complete disregard for social standards. And that you really hamstring yourself when you take up unrealistic rules of engagement.

Understand that no amount of consideration from you for the bully's situation will change them. You must prioritize self care, and do everything you can to clear your own path.

Report cyberbullying to the platform you released on. Report to twitter, report to everyone. With screenshots of their bullshit.

And then when the person has no recourse but to email you or send DMs on unregulated services, THEN you block them.

And look . . . there's always going to be "but what if" and "they'll just" kinda follow ups. Make them get to that point. By not acting at all because "they'll just", then you're literally doing their job for them.

Take the steps you already know you could take. Get these various systems to working *for * you, instead of just being a series of empty bullet-points on a Terms of Use web page.

[edit] There's a post in these comments. Practice your Report skills here. Because you're either getting better, or you're getting worse. And some people are just uninterested in getting better or helping others get better.

[2nd edit] Looks like either they deleted their post, or were reported and removed. See how that works?

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