re: 10 things I've learned from working remotely VIEW POST

re: [deleted]

This is a really insensitive response. Crying is a human emotion. When you are dealing with difficult times crying is very healthy ways to deal with things so long as you're not sobbing uncontrollably and unable to breathe. Dealing with difficult times doesn't make me an unstable person if I cry.

The professional I saw for years actually encouraged me to let myself cry, and surprisingly the more I let myself cry and get it out the better I was able to handle those solutions in the long term. It's a little bit telling about our macho culture seeing the broad judgment you made on me because I admitted it was ok to cry if you were having a tough time.

Some people are not cryers, and that's ok. I am though. It's always been a therapeutic release for me. When I give myself permission to cry, I usually only cry for a minute or so, then I'm able to get back to work. I don't suffer at all. I suffered all those years I WOULDN'T let myself cry.


Lindsey, I'm pretty sorry.
I didn't mean you are an unstable person, I just was concerned about you, suffering. If cry helps you, great, I'm with you. Really.

I have a bad background because of my wife crying because of her boss being too tough (yelling and insulting) at her (and her tolerating this.)
My words were because, I think, nobody should ever need to cry because of the job we are doing.
As I said, that wasn't criticism, it was a real concern about your wellness, not anything else.

I know (by my wife experience) that work issues may be harder for women, not because of them, but because some people shows more contempt (disdain, scorn; I'm not an English speaker) with women and I can't accept that; and I think nobody should ever accept that.

I'm not a "macho" guy, I just think one has the right to do her/his job without the need to be in a position were one needs to cry (or suffer). (I cry, I cry a lot, but it is when I have a problem with my kids that I don't know how to handle. And yes, I resort to professional help in that case. And they help, that's why I mention it.)

So... sorry, I'm really sorry. I'm not insensitive, perhaps I'm too much sensitive. Crying, for me, is feeling bad, and I don't want anybody feeling bad because of a job, there are much more important things in life. (Now I see crying is like a scape valve for you, fine.)

Again, I'm pretty sorry, obviously I wasn't able to express myself correctly.


Thank you, Manuel! I really appreciate the heartfelt apology. It seems like it really was a misunderstanding and miscommunication.

For clarity, which I will edit in my post to make it more clear, there is a difference with using crying as a temporary release vs uncontrollable crying and/or depression from continually being sad.

The way it came across to me at first was crying is always bad, I must be crazy, etc etc.


When I give myself permission to cry, I usually only cry for a minute or so, then I'm able to get back to work. I don't suffer at all. I suffered all those years I WOULDN'T let myself cry.

I just wanted to say that I can empathize with this part. I'm a crier. It's the way my body releases stress. (Have you ever heard that joke that's along the lines of "I cry because murder is illegal"? It's like that.)

For years, I was ashamed of it and fought hard to suppress it at work, in particular, because there is a stigma against any kind of crying. That only made it worse, and it was only when I accepted that it was how my body responded to stress and that there was nothing to be ashamed of was I able to deal with it better (because, of course, trying to suppress the crying just added more stress).

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