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Discussion on: Feeling excluded and sad for not getting positive feedback - How should I react?

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laduenas

My point of view is you need to stop looking for other people's approval and learn how to communicate better.

Is not wrong to wanting approval, but is wrong to need it to do things or improve yourself, and is also wrong not to let people know how you feel about things.

Also, learn how to take feedback. People might have critics about your work, not you. And feedback always helps us to be better, either we like what we hear or not, and most times than not we're not going to, because we take it the wrong way.

Emotions and work are not disconnected from each other and just because we work with computers doesn't mean we should think and behave like them.

If you need guidance, ask for it. If you need training or mentoring, ask for it. If you need approval, learn to approve yourself first, and the rest will follow.

Now, from experience, I can tell you most of these problems are solved with the right kind and amount of communication, and you need to make your part in that. If people are not communicating with you, that's on them, but if you are not communicating with them, that's on you.

Take small steps to communicate better with your team and don't be afraid to open up about emotions and feelings at work, again right amount, the right way. Those things don't hold us back, but instead, connect us with people on a different level.

One quick tip I can give you, learn what really excites you about your work and share with your co-workers. Ask them about what excites them about their work and find common ground and use that to start conversations and engage better with people.

Best of lucks