One of the most salient features of our Tech Hiring culture is that there is so much bullshit. Everyone knows this. Each of us contributes his share. But we tend to take the situation for granted.
How to do pair-programming - or pull-request reviews - well is a hard question, not a technical one, and there is no shortcut.
You have to replace contempt by curiosity, learn to listen - which means mostly learn to shut up, forget about being right or wrong, learn compassion, learn to see things from the perspective of the other, and learn the subtle art of not giving a fuck to things that don't matter really much, because There Are More Than One Way To Do It(TM)
You will make mistakes along the way, only bad people never make mistakes because they never recognize the ones that they did.
You could start by having both of you read and discuss this article:
Thank you for your input! :) I don't think we encountered much contempt, but more curiosity never hurt anyone. Except for cats. Also, that article is a really good one - it's a re-(re-re-)read for me, and I'll propose it to my colleague. :)
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How to do pair-programming - or pull-request reviews - well is a hard question, not a technical one, and there is no shortcut.
You have to replace contempt by curiosity, learn to listen - which means mostly learn to shut up, forget about being right or wrong, learn compassion, learn to see things from the perspective of the other, and learn the subtle art of not giving a fuck to things that don't matter really much, because There Are More Than One Way To Do It(TM)
You will make mistakes along the way, only bad people never make mistakes because they never recognize the ones that they did.
You could start by having both of you read and discuss this article:
How to use a code review to execute someones' soul
Thank you for your input! :) I don't think we encountered much contempt, but more curiosity never hurt anyone. Except for cats. Also, that article is a really good one - it's a re-(re-re-)read for me, and I'll propose it to my colleague. :)