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Discussion on: Being a good programmer vs. Having a good health

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fllprbt profile image
fllprbt (Alkis Giouv)

Divorce him.

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iriskatastic profile image
Iren Korkishko

What? I love this man, I want him to be healthy. For me, and for our future. If I was so easy to give up, I wouldn't even start this discussion. And I don't understand people like you who suggest such terrible things. Besides, I was asking about how to help him, not about should I be with him or not.

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fllprbt profile image
fllprbt (Alkis Giouv) • Edited

Love is truly something but when it comes to care taking a grown person, you should question yourself.
Divorcing is kind of a blunt statement but I've written it after reading your responses on people's advice; you tried many of them already but nothing worked (at least in the long term)
What I want to say, is just have some self-respect. If you think the case's worth it, go for it.

I am speaking as someone being in your husband's shoes. I just put my girlfriend/fitness/other things above/along programming (which I truly love as well)
It's just a matter of prioritizing.

P.S. In relationships, in many cases people are not willing to change. If that is true with yours, you may have to ultimately accept him for what he is...

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iriskatastic profile image
Iren Korkishko

If you mean accepting those suffer he feels every time with his spine, stomach, head and neck - I will not accept this. I'm going to do my best for him to stay a great programmer, but to become a healthy man. I am going to make him understand the causes and take some actions.
If I hadn't succeeded yet doesn't mean I should stop trying. Maybe he just need a unique approach.