Note: I tried to make this post as accessible as possible, but since I wanted to block names & Twitter handles, I had to use some images. I apologize and will update the alt tag to display the tweet's content.
I've had my fair share of weird, creepy, and downright idiotic interactions on the internet. Most of the time I try to ignore them, but I thought in good spirits I would share the "fun" I go through on the world wide web. (Yes, this is satire.)
I am not saying that these types of interactions only happen to women, yet I do believe that would a man have posted the same tweet, they would not have received the same quantity of stupid messages.
No matter what I post online, it seems that people instantly flock to find fault within my words and immediately chastise me for it.
Let's delve into my super official (lol) scientific case study on "Being A Woman On The Internet." I will be using the Scientific Method.
Another note: I will be using the word men throughout this piece because in all of my time on the internet, I have had exactly one woman post a stupid response. Is this generalizing? Yeah, maybe. But seems to me to be an outlier. I am in NO way saying that only men are capable of this behavior. I'm just saying that it happens more often than not... from... men.
How ironic would it be if I got comments by men stating that I'm making generalizations, because they clearly wouldn't have read this paragraph and the irony would be seeping through the computer screen. Again, this entire article is just a joke. Okay thx that's all.
Step 1: Make An Observation
Women on the internet typically receive more idiotic comments in response to their content.
It doesn't matter what I post, I always receive a plethora of comments either trying to prove me wrong, insisting I couldn't have posted that because I'm a woman and don't understand tech, or berating me saying I'm too uptight.
Step 2: Ask A Question
Do men on the internet always look for fault within a blog post or a tweet in order to interject their personal opinions?
Step 3: Form A Hypothesis
Men on the internet, regardless of the content posted, will look for teeny tiny holes that they can poke at until they become big gaping holes that disprove the woman's point of view.
Step 4: Make A Prediction
If I post a tweet claiming that I am removing social media apps from my phone, I will receive stupid comments trying to prove me wrong.
Step 5: Test The Prediction
Oh the fun part. Let's jump right in.
To test my super scientific hypothesis, I posted this tweet:
Emma Wedekind 🐞@emmawedekind
I just deleted all social apps, including browsers, email and Slack, off my phone. Let's see how this goes... 🙈13:17 PM - 12 Apr 2019
13
615
And then I waited for the inevitable flood of thick-witted comments to arrive. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.
I even gave the community a blaring cue that I was, in fact, using my computer. Yet some people still missed this.
And then... they started rolling in.
They just couldn't deduce that the internet is also available through inventions we call laptops. Okay, I thought, but that's just a couple of comments.
Until they weren't just a couple comments.
Fourteen comments later and I was starting to believe that my hypothesis was undoubtedly proven true.
At one point, I had even posted a follow-up tweet stating that this imbecilic behavior was getting a bit ridiculous.
Emma Wedekind 🐞@emmawedekindIt's unbelievable how I tweet this and I immediately get about 10 messages of men saying "Ironic how you're posting this on social media" or "But you're still on Twitter". I said I'm removing them off my phone; doesn't mean I won't use then on my computer. Smh...🙄 twitter.com/EmmaWedekind/s…14:25 PM - 12 Apr 2019Emma Wedekind 🐞 @EmmaWedekindI just deleted all social apps, including browsers, email and Slack, off my phone. Let's see how this goes... 🙈
And yet... it didn't deter them. They were determined. I even started interacting with the offending parties; yes I know, "don't feed the trolls". I just couldn't help myself. I'm sarcastic, what can I say?
Emma Wedekind 🐞@emmawedekind@FellowsDevel I am just going to leave this here. twitter.com/EmmaWedekind/s…17:04 PM - 12 Apr 2019Emma Wedekind 🐞 @EmmaWedekindIt's unbelievable how I tweet this and I immediately get about 10 messages of men saying "Ironic how you're posting this on social media" or "But you're still on Twitter". I said I'm removing them off my phone; doesn't mean I won't use then on my computer. Smh...🙄 https://t.co/pOgQGBYQfV
Emma Wedekind 🐞@emmawedekind@Just_Saying___1 Or, you know, you could maybe um, read the thread where 1,000 other people like yourself failed to read the word "phone."? There is internet connected to a thing called a laptop.05:47 AM - 13 Apr 2019
Emma Wedekind 🐞@emmawedekind@itsproject_360 Omg wait haven't you heard... the internet ALSO exists on these really cool inventions called LAPTOPS.05:56 AM - 13 Apr 2019
If you're wondering the breakdown between how many men posted responses versus women, here is my extremely legitimate quantitative data.
In my opinion, my hypothesis was proved truthful.
Conclusion
I posted this blog as a joke, because what else is there to do in these situations but get a good laugh out of it? There's no point in getting upset; it's not worth my time.
But the sad reality is that many women have this much worse than I do, and it needs to stop. If you see this type of thing happening, stand up against it. You can do so respectfully, but we must stop encouraging this incessant need to prove women wrong.
I'm not saying people can't have differing opinions, but intentionally trying to prove a woman's words as poppycock isn't cool and needs to be stopped.
Thank you for reading my satirical diary.
Top comments (30)
This happened to me yesterday! But then something very nice and unexpected happened, a gentleman stepped in and called out the guy who was being a jerk!
We need more guys like this! Hang in there Emma! 🤗
On behalf of all the gentlemen out there, we apologize that you have to go through our toxicity every day. It is extremely frustrating how some of us do our best to treat everyone right, while there are others who paint a bad picture of us for whatever reason.
Thanks for sharing this. I just can't understand why there is even a stigma around women in the tech industry. It's unbelievable! It's 2019, people! We have to get our act together.
I am simultaneously surrounded by so many incredible men; I don't take that for granted! I just wish that these things weren't still an issue.
You can upgrade this experiment to a scientific one by trying the same with an account operated by a man, and one operated by somebody whose sex cannot be determined. I think you will probably get a similar results. As in, mostly men responding, albeit fewer in number. The difficult part would having the same reach from those accounts.
Or maybe this one, let a male friend/colleague post a similar statement where you then respond to that he's still using twitter. I'm sure there will be plenty of people pointing out your mistake. This does require some timing though, you don't want to do this too soon.
But it is probably not really worth the effort as we all know what the outcomes will be. You can better spend the time dotting all the i's in your code.
On the internet, nobody knows you're a horse.
One thing I've observed in the past 20+ years I've been on the internet is that people have become way more public on who they are. Previously people used handles (or nicknames), so you never really knew what they were in meatspace. I think it started with Facebook requiring real names, and the easy ability to post pictures of yourself, that people on the internet became more public. We know their name, and see their face, we know their sex and race. (Rhyme not intended) And with it, the prejudice.
the handle I used during the good old times of anonymity looked feminine enough for some people to assume I was a girl. don't remember them acting differently from people who thought I was a guy though except for occasional "wait, you're a dude?" every month or so but that was rather amusing
<sarcasm>Lol, you probably didn’t write this</sarcasm>On a serious note, I see gender inequality in the professional area pretty much every day here in Russia and find this absolutely unacceptable.
Never judged skills by gender and proud of it.
Every time I read something good and fun by some techie, that also happens to be female, I always cringe a little bit. Not because of the content, but because I immediately come to think of the type of experiences that will follow. And I hate that, because this actively hurts recruitment of techies with another background than my own, as everyone can see that being visible on the internet is like wading in knee deep shit if you happen to have double X chromosones.
Actively block all the shitposters, unfollow people that makes your feed hateful or resentful and keep up the good work. You're a hero for sticking in there! Looking forward to the day that won't be necessary.
The internet will always be an interesting and special place. This is on of the reasons I don't use my face as avatar on most places. Hopefully I can gather the courage kinda post stuff anyway and use my actual face.
Never be ashamed to be who you are <3
If this is also satire, I think it's falling flat.
Whether it's your intention or not, please don't look to discount or question the reality of experience that plagues many/most women on the internet (especially in this field).
If anonymity allows these people on the internet to be "whomever they please," and they choose to be a jerk, what does that really say?
Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, but I'm not sure about the universe yet.
Albert Einstein
Or what about the dude questioning if this belonged on Dev.to because it wasn't technical enough?
you can always point them to a dozen of non-technical articles written by men
Yeah that bothered me.
This came up last night at a nice talk (on "soft" developer skills), where we had two great speakers (who happened to be women).
I sincerely do wish it were the case where men did not feel it were fine to speak over, interrupt, or jump in to a discussion (in person or on-line) supremely confident that they must know better (even if they prove otherwise immediately with the first thing they say!)
I love your sarcasm - I think it's one of the better ways of dealing with such behavior 😁
Unfortunately, we won't ever know the number of men simply acknowledging the tweet in silent appreciation. I sincerely hope it is still higher than that of the trolls you were baiting, but I'm not as deluded as to think it actually is.
Responses like this continually coming from men seriously bothers me. I'm trying to do more online to respond to men giving responses like this, and also not being afraid to join in and blocking them. I don't know how much it'll help, but it's better than nothing.
Thanks for sharing your experiences on this, especially the responses you gave to the mansplainers in question. I know I wouldn't have the courage to respond to so many trolls as you did.
Thanks Max!
I actually read that tweet yesterday since I was considering if I should do the same thing. Saw how many comments there were and went to see if other people thought it would help with my concentration.
Unfortunately, although I guess the post was slightly made up anyway, the comments really weren't what I expected 😣.
You must be doing something right since I keep seeing your name here and on twitter without me even following you (might change).
TLDR - sorry this happens and to a lot of women as well, but keep up with the good work and the same to any one else reading this 👍👍.
As I've become more and more a part of the developer community I have been annoyed to see this happening, but also encouraged to see so many people pushing for more positive change and not accepting how things currently are. As a teacher I feel like experience a small fraction of what women experience in the workplace in the sense of often not being taken seriously in regards to my profession, or constantly questioned or treated like I don't know what I'm doing as though I am a glorified babysitter. At the same time, as one of two male teachers at my school, I often hear how I can get away with so much more that my female colleagues simply because I'm male. It's frustrating there is such a disconnect and it seems like a portion of the population still lives in the dark ages in terms of the competency and worth of women in the workplace. At the end of the day, however, it's exciting to be a part of this community because I see a lot of drive to move forward and not accept how women have been treated in the past.
Thanks Ryan!
I think this post is also here just to prove that men tend to find wrong in women's words. Otherwise, if we really gonna solve the problem of men behaviour, we need proper methods. Pointing out to a shitty comments in Twitter makes all your men followers feel guilty, while those who are similar kind to those commentators either ignore the post with "nah" or gonna write that your research is bullshit. we're tech people and not psychologists to solve the issue, but we can at least try to do things better. if a person don't know how to behave in 2019 then we should understand how to make the person think differently. proving to the person he is wrong is not the same as educating.
Michiel Hendriks wrote an amazing comment on how to make your post better. He didn't say "hey there are more men in tech and hence your tweet noticed more men and hence you just overreact". He proposed a way to educate.