If you followed me for a while, you might have seen I like traveling around.
I've recently been to Mauritius for six weeks, and we just returned from a 4-week Euro-trip.
As much as this sounds amazing, all my friends always tell me I should not work during these trips.
I get arguments thrown at my head about what they would do and how they would spend their time there.
Even on a weekend trip with some friends, they get upset that I get up early to write my blog.
I even finish writing my articles and sometimes even go for a run before any of them even wake up 🤷♂️.
So why do they even care?
I believe a lot of people feel stressed out by my behavior. For them, it's a non-working day, and they get anxious if someone else is working.
The same applies to trips. When they go on a trip it has nothing to do with work.
Why do I care?
I just got a bit of a sour aftertaste that I was doing something wrong?
But it didn't feel wrong to me. I have zero stress or "need" to work. I want to do it.
I even asked my friends why they would suggest that, and it all comes down to them not enjoying their job.
They feel tired, exhausted, and unmotivated outside of work, while I feel energized, eager and motivated to start the next day.
Which made me realize this is a feeling to cherish truly.
How to love your job
You might be in line with those who feel drained by their job, and let me try to explain how I got to love my job.
About ten years ago, a good friend asked me a simple question:
Do you enjoy coming home?
This simple question sparked a million neurons in my brain to go off and think hard about the answer.
I realized I was bored, the job was tedious, my life was boring, and it was not what I seek in life.
I think it was a week later that I asked for a chat with my former boss and discussed this feeling.
He was very understanding and asked me what they could do to accommodate my feeling.
I decided to check if there was an opportunity to work for an overseas branch in a different role. (I had zero expectations here).
I was surprised when he said: Yeah, sure, Cape Town good for you?
And about two months later, I landed in Cape Town.
I won't go into more detail about this flow, but this journey changed my mindset.
- Why would I do something I don't enjoy
- I should pick what I like to do
- What do I like?
I know this sounds super simple, and a lot of you will say things in the line of:
- But if you have to support a family
- I can't let other people down
- And so on
This might be true, and there are always nuances to these questions.
My main question for you is:
Are you letting yourself down?
If the answer is yes, I strongly urge you to evaluate this second question:
What would make you happy?
It's not easy to answer, but once you find that answer, create actionable steps to achieve that happiness.
Don't expect it to happen overnight, but once you've set this goal, each behavior of you should slowly contribute to achieving it.
Moral of the story
How did we go from someone else opinion about my travel to a life-changing experience?
Everyone has opinions on how to do certain things in life, and so do you.
Pick your own views over others and design your life in a way that you enjoy the most.
This will benefit everyone around you, including the most valuable person there is: you!
Thank you for reading, and let's connect!
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Top comments (18)
Great story, and to be honest seeing the way you balance work and travelling is something to envy and emulate, not something to ridicule.
So, as with many people who “hate on” other people’s life choices, it is probably just their own insecurity and a little bit of jealousy that makes them say this stuff!
Thanks Graham.
Well in all honesty I would way rather recommend people actually taking leave and mentally reset.
It's not for everyone to keep work always on the top of their head.
@inhuofficial has a name and a face! Hiiii @grahamthedev 👋
Haha yes, now you just have to work out if my profile pic is AI generated or not! 🤔🧐
Excellent advice! Sometimes folks for get to ask themselves those simple questions about their job and they get stuck doing something they can't stand for far too long.
I think it's awesome that you discussed things head on with your company and together y'all worked out a good solution where ya still are with the same place. Good on ya for being transparent with them about how ya feel and good on them for understanding and helping to figure it out!
And @inhuofficial is totally right that your work/life balance is something to aspire to and not to knock... it genuinely sounds like you enjoy doing your job and get a lot of fulfillment from it. That's awesome.
So strange for folks to feel that they need to project their own feelings about work onto your life. Now, as a manager, I often tell my reports that they shouldn't work when on vacation, but it's not meant to dictate their behavior, it's just to really ensure that I'm cool with them completely taking off. I'm gonna make sure they know that, haha! Anyway, it's strange for friends to get so worked about your work behavior, cause you're right that it doesn't affect them. Maybe they look at how much you're able to accomplish and feel a bit guilty, haha!
I would argue this isn't "work/life balance" at least not in the way that people usually use the term.
It sounds more like transcending that separation; navigating to a point in life where you do what you want to do in such a way that it provides others sufficient value that it keeps you economically afloat.
True that! Very good point.
The typical work/life balance more often refers to the see-sawing of time at work and time enjoying life — and it's meant to express when folks do a good job of balancing their time across each. But, you're totally right that this is different and "transcends that separation" (so well said!) so that both worlds are blending together. Work is such an enjoyable experience that you spend time on it during your free time and it doesn't feel like a job. That's an awesome place to reach!
Yeah I would hardly recommend the same aspiration, hence i'm very big on finding what works for you.
But with a lot of things as you actually start to enjoy work and not to see it as a chore made quite a big difference to me.
Thanks Michael,
I really think it comes from a good place, they are reflecting their worse fears which would be working while on holiday.
But that feeling just doesn't exist for me.
And agree on the point where as a managed I do it as well, in a way I tell my colleagues it's perfectly fine to enjoy the weekend and Monday is another day to squash some bugs.
Thanks for sharing your own experiences ❤
I enjoy being a software engineer and for me, it's the first step. The second step is to work in a place that gives me on average 30% of satisfaction and a 70% feeling of financial stability. That's my personal view of the acceptable working life😆🤗😉🤜🤛
I do hope you find that place Renan 💖
Would love to hear when you do.
Thanks buddy! You are a gentleman 🤗
Happiness is transient (otherwise we wouldn't recognize it).
What are your values? Is what you are doing in life in alignment with those values, providing the meaning and drive necessary to get up in the morning? (Hint: This gets more important as you age; start with this awareness early on when time and energy reserves are still on your side.)
Throughout life those values change, so regular assessments and course corrections will be necessary.
100% I keep preaching this to everyone.
This is a ever-growing and ever-changing "goal"/"vision" that we try to achieve, the closer we get the more we have to think about evaluating and assessing what makes us happy at this point.
(I choose happy because it's more relatable for most people)
Another side note, is that life-changes really should also make you re-asses and re-evaluate.
They can be a lot of things
things like that should all trigger at least a assessment to see if your goals are still in line.
Very true. I went through a similar journey.
Conformity is a problem for many people. Sometimes you do things so other people like you or accept you or to meet a broader social expectation, and you end being liked by many people. Then sadly, you don't like yourself.
What I would say is that treating happiness as a goal is not constructive in my experience. What Buddhist say rings true to me, "there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way". It is more about recognizing what gives you joy and fulfillment, and finding a way to have more of that in your daily life.
Travel can reveal a lot because it takes you away from the environment and influences you are used to. What do you do that is different and is beneficial to your wellbeing? What do you miss if you are away longer? It can give you a new perspective.
I hope it inspired at least one person to make that change 🙏
"Everyone has opinions on how to do certain things in life, and so do you.
Pick your own views over others and design your life in a way that you enjoy the most." Loved it
💖
We like to life our lives in a way we think is normal, or people expect us to live it.
Let's change that and make our own happy paths.