In my career so far, I've only been part of a few different software teams, but I find it hard to leave each one because I usually grow attached and have a sense of duty to the team that makes me feel bad for leaving.
As an example, I'm currently faced with an opportunity to switch teams again in a couple months (after six months in this one), and although I feel it's best for me to take it, I can already see myself feeling bad for leaving my current team - like I'm letting them down by moving to something that's more interesting to me, and leaving my teammates to adapt to the new team makeup in my absence.
Do you feel a sense of duty to your team at work? What does that duty mean to you? How do you balance what's best for your career versus what's best for the team?
I'd love to know your thoughts, and whether or not you've dealt with similar feelings in your career!
Top comments (12)
I worked in a tiny company, we were three people total, and then one guy left. When I started thinking I would be happier doing something else, it was really difficult to make this decision exactly because of the feeling of duty, responsibility, and guilt. Yes, guilt was the main thing I had to work through.
But in the end, it is your life, your happiness, your career progress. And you largely not responsible for the teams, bosses, and companies you leave.
I was in this boat just this year, as the one leaving. I am good friends with the other people and leaving was a very difficult choice. When it came down to it though, I had to remember that my friendships were separate from my work and work relationships. It also can help to remember that no company would keep an employee around because of guilt over firing them and at the end of the day business and careers are about doing what is best for the entity in question. Definitely doing what is good for you and your progress is the best option. For me, it all worked out too! I feel I have better friendships with my old workmates, because we don't have the presupposition of work relationships to maintain.
It's nice to know I'm not the only one that feels that way! You're right, only I can make the best choices for my career so I should take these opportunities where I can.
One could maybe even argue that if my current team is not where I'd be happiest in a couple months from now, that I might not do my best work, and so it will be better in the long run for the team to have someone else in that spot.
That's a very good point!
That’s exactly what I’m facing right now. I don’t want to leave as too many projects are under my responsibility. If I leave remaining members will have to work really hard. It is the fist time in my career I’m afraid of taking a job offer because I feel I’m too important in my company (it is a small one)
It's not personal. It's business.
If the company went down the toilet, they would say bye to you in a heart-beat.
(I was in your shoes on my first gig. They did just fine after I left.)
That’s true let me put it this way: in the past I quit jobs just for the sake of trying something new even if there was nothing wrong with the boss or the team. Now I don’t think I’ll stay on the company forever but I need to find a really great job elsewhere to be convinced to quit.
Nice. Same here :)
These should go hand in hand.
What's best for your team should be best for your career.
If this concepts are indeed colliding, either one of these maximums prevail:
You're working for the wrong reasons.
You're lacking within self, morality and, virtue.
Been at this 25 years and I feel that way every time. I think it's pretty normal to feel conflicted about leaving. If you don't, it's probably a sign the team is dysfunctional and you should leave for sure.
My situation is a little different now in that I lead a team. The sense of duty is much stronger than when I was simply part of another team in that I feel much more responsible for the team's results, happiness, engagement, etc. Ironically if I do my job right I end up making myself obsolete (in some sense of the word) as the team knows what to do on it's own and doesn't [really] need me.
I did recently switch teams to lead another one. It was one of the harder decisions I've made having been a part of the first team for 2.5 years. In the end though, there was a clear succession plan in place and it was also the right decision for me personally so I felt good about it.
The actual leaving still sucked though :)
If you feel that you would let them down, that probably think too much about yourself. Everyone is replaceable and if for some reason it's not true, that person should be replaced. In the latter case most probably he/she doesn't let information flow around, etc.
If you just feel too much attached socially, that's understandable. But if it is not only about the daily routine of drinking coffee/eating lunch with the same group of people, then you'll find a way to keep in touch. And if those relationships are worth enough to keep in touch, better that way...
Well, I do not feel sense of 'duty', it's just matter of existing social connections (which you do not want to break), but at the same time I admit I'm bit autistic in this issue.