DEV Community

Discussion on: Yes, I still fall victim to Imposter Syndrome

Collapse
 
bugmagnet profile image
Bruce Axtens • Edited

I was a Christian missionary working in a developing country. I was convincing myself that I was not the best person for the job I was doing (IT support) and that there were thousands of better qualified people in the world who could do a better job and should have been there making less of hash of it than what I was.

It didn't dawn on me until years later that whether I was the best fit or not, I was the one God had appointed to that role in that place at that time. None of those thousands had applied to that missionary society. No one else had shown the slightest interest in working in that fairly dangerous country. No one else had made it through the stringent testing and training regime.

I believed a lie. I spent years dealing with the depression aftermath.

We can be okay at stuff, and we call all do better.

This impostor thing doesn't limit itself to vocation. It attacks parents too. I'm okay as a dad. I could have done better in the kids early years. But they're not dead yet and neither am I. I can still be and do better. I'm not pretending to be their dad. I am their dad.