Calin, it's normal to be scared. Just don't let that overcome you.
It's normal to be scared when things don't go how they should "normally" go and when you have no way to influence the outcome.
When I was "your age" :) I read Dune, the book by Frank Herbert. In which there is a litany against fear. I thought it was very powerful and pretty useful for me too. So here it is, but you should really read the book too.
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Ok, but that's SF and that has little connexion to reality. Well, not quite. Fiction is about imagining outcomes. What outcome you imagine is up to you. But that outcome is also a very powerful engine to get things done so that the outcome comes to realization.
If you're into activism and SF, let me suggest this other book: "Octavia's Breed", it is a compendium of short texts by activists who wrote about other outcomes, things that are worth to reach, places where we would want to be.
In any case, fear is a natural feeling. It's good to have fear, but you have to recognize it just for what it is. It's just a warning that right now you don't possess the tools to act on the situation at hand. But fear is also about right now and is also pretty conservative, hey, fear is sometimes what keeps you alive !!! :)
So it may be that by changing your perspective you see that you may have some tools already (this message board is one) and that the threat is not exactly threatening you right now so you have time to prepare, gather other tools, use the tools and mitigate the threat.
As far as I can tell reading you here, you're doing just fine. I don't know about IRL stuff, but if you can talk to friends, family, find people online and chat, that's also a good way to take things out of your chest. Just do it. And have a very nice day/evening (morning here in Japan, my daughter, your age, is not going to school today...)
I love your input, and speaking of the line:
So it may be that by changing your perspective you see that you may have some tools already (this
message board is one) and that the threat is not exactly threatening you right now so you have time to
prepare, gather other tools, use the tools and mitigate the threat.
that's why I wanted to make the post, to vent, by showing my feelings on the matter, and I think your comment sums that up very well.
Anyways, have a good rest of your day, and stay safe.
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