markdown guide
 

There are hundreds of brilliant xkcd comics. This one might be my favorite:

source

 
 

I alluded to this in my post today! dev.to/laurieontech/don-t-get-fool...

Just because you find the question on google...doesn’t mean you’ll find the answer alongside it :/

 
 
 

Holy shit--this is so accurate!

They say that a junior developer's mistakes have a small impact on a project, but a senior dev's mistakes have a big impact, so by that logic, the experienced programmer's rake should be even bigger.

 
 

I fell asleep on the keyboard, and it exited my vi session. ZZ.

 

Lolol. I had a coworker who I told this to. Swoosh...

 

The easy way to exit is to just restart your computer!

 
 

I think I love this so much because for a long time I had no clue where it was reported 😂

 

This one was sent to me by a coworker after my first bug fix gone wrong. Definitely cheered me up!

99 bugs

 
 
 
 

For anyone who deals in formal logic I've always been partial to the following.

Programmer's spouse: Could you go to the store and buy a gallon of milk? If there are eggs get a dozen.

...Programmer return some while later with a dozen gallons of milk...

Programmer's spouse: Why on Earth did you buy twelve gallons of milk?!

Programmer: Well there were eggs.

 

Classic!

Reminds me of this one:

The programmers roommate texts them "hey, while you're out can you please buy some milk?"

The programmer never returned...

 

He should crash, he don't have enough money to buy infinite milk.

 
 

This reminds me of a sign I used to drive by a lot that read "End 55 MPH Speed Limit". I was always like "Woohoo, the only speed limit that existed just ended!"

 

Lol, apparently speed limits can be nested, so when you go from a 75mph zone to a 55mph zone you're still in the 75... 🤔

 
 
 
 

"There are 2 hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-1 errors."

"There are only two hard problems in distributed systems: 2. Exactly-once delivery 1. Guaranteed order of messages 2. Exactly-once delivery"

 

"There are 2 hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-1 errors."

my fav. tho

 
 

Not my favorite of all time, but a good one I saw the other day.

zero vs null

 

A coworker had this pinned on her desk divider when I got my first programming job and I've passed it on to every programmer I've worked with since then:

sandraandwoo.com/2012/11/19/0430-s...

 
 
 
 

A programmer walks into a bar and orders 1.0000000019 root beers.
Bartender: “I’ll have to charge you extra for that, that’s a root beer float.”
Programmer: “Well in that case make it a double.”

 

I don't know about my favorite, but this just made me giggle

I now also want IOS 13 to provide free psychotherapy via siri.

 
 
 
 
 
 

My fave goes something like this.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Unexpected } on line 42

 
 

Kids today with their interpreted language will never understand...

xkcd.com/303/

 

Yeah, we're living the programmer dream.

waits three minutes for symphony to rebuild the service containers

 

We actually get that all the time due to our slow build server with its dying hard drives.

 
 
 

Last one. Sorry for spamming the thread; just had to share!

types of coders

 
 
 
 
 

A C++ class can touch a friend's privates, but it can't touch a friend's child*'s privates.

* subclass

 
 
 
 

One said the site was hacked with CSS.
The other laughed.

Without
Knowing
What
Is
CSS:

Cross Site Scripting

 

Dilbert where the engineer takes a beauty nap at work to increase productivity.

 
 

My fav joke: I write code that dont have any errors, although my QA team always asks how do we debug this?

 

"There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation and naming things." - Phil Karlton

 

How did the programmer die in the shower?

He read the instructions on the shampoo - rinse and repeat.

Classic DEV Post from Dec 19 '17

Another month of clean code

Another month worth of clean code examples from my weekly tweets.

Ben Halpern profile image
A Canadian software developer who thinks he’s funny.