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Are you an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between?

Ben Halpern on March 16, 2018

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Jess Lee • Edited

An introvert that's trying to pick up the skill extroverts possess, so she can turn them on and off when necessary. It works sometimes.

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imrinzzzz

same here

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Damien Cosset

Introvert. Can't really be around many people for too long. I need my alone time to recharge and rest. I'll party once in a while, but I prefer small groups. I'm not too much into small talk either and I find it very difficult to avoid it in large groups :D

But, I guess to function in a society as an introvert, you have to "act" somewhere in between. I'm going to say our society really prefers extroverts.

Note: Great book about introverts => Quiet: The power of Introverts in a world that can't stop talking by Susan Cain. Just.Read.It!

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Shi Ling

Same here.

Used to think that being introverted is not ok, that there's something wrong with "Ok, I'm tired from being around people", and never really understood what one of my teacher once said that I had a "quiet confidence" either.

It wasn't until I read the book "Quiet" that I learnt that it's alright to be introverted and there's many strengths in being so too. I'd recommend reading it too.

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Seth Michael Larson

Definitely an extrovert. After a long day of being with people I don't feel exhausted and usually want to hang out more ASAP.

I wasn't always this way though! Sometime late in high-school a switch just flicked and suddenly 100% extroverted.

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Thais Hamilton

Extrovert

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Sam Ferree

Extrovert... So please leave me alone when I'm coding. I will engage and converse for far too long.

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Jess Lee

Ah, awesome. I've been meaning to try that for a while!

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John Paul Ada • Edited

Somewhere in the middle. We're called ambiverts, if that's a real thing. I usually just talk to my "tribe". I rarely go to parties, unless it's mandatory to attend. I like being in the office on weekends just coding away, or watching anime, or playing games by myself. When I need to talk to people, I wear this "hi I can talk to people" persona after counting to five, as per the five second rule.

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Moe

Yes very much describes me. I'm in the middle also. I love talking to people in small settings, but if it's too much social interactions like at conferences, it's draining. I really like being by myself watching anime and playing videogames, but I also like hanging out with close friends.

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Michael Minshew

I used to have to play in the middle but now that i'm unemployed/self-employed I've realized that I absolutely don't like people 99% of the time. I don't mind occasional meetups and I like the internet or texting where i can control when and where + think about how to respond. I used to think I was more extroverted because I was so at my previous job but i've been home 95% of the time for about 6 months now only seeing my wife and my dog and i've had very little desire to interact with people outside of the occasional internet posts and my mom.

when i stopped caring about what people thought about and realized that if i didn't maintain a relationship most fell away it made things easy. I embrace the 4 am, angry bearded programmer stereotype.

Maybe its because I know that if needed i can play well with others so if its not needed i don't care lol. idk.

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Rick

We are born of the same blood my friend.
(but i shaved my beard because I started to look thoreau)

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Paula Santamaría

Can I be a circumstantial extrovert? I usually feel confortable around people with the same interests and hobbies as me, so I laugh a lot, tell stories and jokes. But when I know people around me have completely different interests I instantly become an introvert.

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Nijeesh Joshy

Same here, Really hate when people asks me why i am wearing headphones or reading books when everyone else is talking.

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Shawn Sommer

Introvert. But can be functionally extroverted if I need to be.

I can "do" things like customer service or a presentation when needed but it's not my sweet spot. I'm better when I make contact with someone on my terms because I can prepare for the conversation. I can mentally go over what needs to be touched on in the conversation and try to relax my mind a bit and then put on the public face.

I hate the term "professional persona" because it sounds fake to me. It's just my way of keeping my cool if I come under fire for some reason. I've been put on the spot in a meeting with some of the top brass in my company and an important client. The person that was supposed to demo and present for the meeting had another more critical meeting pop up right before we were due to start, I was supposed to be there to field any engineering questions for my team's part of the project (this usually involved answering a small handful of questions about our product's functionality). The bottom dropped out of the meeting when the presenter didn't show. Nobody knew the integration well enough to do the presentation and demo, or at least nobody was willing to volunteer and step in. I ended up doing it, fielding questions and either answering myself, calling out passive participants that knew the answers, or taking notes on the question at hand and letting them know I would get back to them. My heart was pounding in my chest the whole time but I was able to remain calm enough to get through it.

I find that I do better when I have several meetings sort of crammed together than I do if I have to continually switch contexts. I can take a bit of time to recharge before going into more mental tasks.

When I am in my own mental space, I get energized. Over the course of the day, if I have meetings it's like a slow drain (although it can be a lot more draining when meetings go bad, as they sometimes do) on my energy but when I am doing something more internal I seem to gain momentum over time.

I somewhat attribute this to how I grew up. I was an only child in a rural area, meaning I had to find my own entertainment as there weren't many other children that lived near me. I needed to construct some sort of rich internal life to keep myself from being bored all the time. I get uncomfortable in large groups. I prefer quiet.

This is a lot longer than I thought it would be. :)

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Daniel Kassen • Edited

I’m an intro-extro. I really like my alone time. Playin guitar, gaming on my own. I can go for days like that, although I’ll probably get bored and want to hang with someone. I’m one of the more talkative ones at work, and I’m always down to hang out after quittin’ time.

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Paul

Yes!

I loathe people when I'm around them, and I get lonely when I'm by myself.

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Chinmay Joshi

Hahaha!

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Funda

hahaha same

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Christian Vasquez

Was a 100% introvert before college, now I'm more like an ambivert (the somewhere in between).

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Kyle Galbraith

I think I am more an introvert than an extrovert. I can be a social person and enjoy being around people but I have to do it in spurts. I need my alone time to watch some tv, netflix, or just read a book.

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Sarah Dye

I'm an introvert. I need moments to recharge and I like small groups vs large groups. I have social anxiety so I often second guess conversations I have with people so I am uber careful what I say to others.

I've gotten better managing my social anxiety and try being more extrovert these days, but I still have some of my introvert tendencies which I'm fine with.

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Antonio Radovcic

I'm more on the introvert side, but it's still normal I guess.

I do prefer talking to lots of people at once, though.
May be 10 or 1000, it doesn't matter.
It's different for some reason.

It also changes when I'm in a familiar environment.
Like a meetup with new people in a place I know.
Then it's much easier.

Job-Interviews are the most exhausting thing for me.
I'm the main person for interviewing frontend-applicants at the company, and after two hours of asking and discussing and listening I get a headache and I'm useless for the rest of the day.

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George Offley

Introvert. Being around a lot of people exhausts me easily. Unfortunately it often has negative effects on my job because I often get feedback about how I'm too quiet. People always just think I'm an asshole.

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Tori Pugh

Introvert. I'm not against social interaction but I'm awkward around strangers and would prefer to be on my own. I like to read and learn alone in my room with my music. Leaving the house on the weekend is a struggle, I'm so comfy in my setup.

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Steph • Edited

Extrovert! I love presenting products and POCs, mentoring, pair programming, and collaborating with my team. But I also have days where I'm extremely productive coding with my headphones on, so I get my people fix during scrum, lunch, and after work.

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Promise Tochi

Introvert with surprising sparks of extrovert in very comfortable environments and around familiar people

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Tyler Sriver • Edited

Definitely an extrovert, I wish I had more meetings at work, I love discussing ideas and solutions with people and I feel so energized when I get to share my thoughts and ideas with like minded people!

It can be a problem when trying to focus on work because I love socializing, finding that balance can be a daily struggle.

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Bauke Regnerus

Fun thing is, everything you've said in your first paragraph can be applied to an introvert just as well. I'm an introvert in all aspects, yet I love team discussions (just not too loud mouthed) and pair programming (just not all the time).

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Leslie

I would say I'm both, but more of a introvert, love being alone, trying new things and ventures with no absolute push from the external world. Im an extrovert when I've taken a couple beers though, i totally become a different human being

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Rick

An introvert, but I love talking about subjects I find fascinating so I'm a good public speaker somehow. I'm super anxious as a baseline but I'm also kinda the driving force when out with friends or something despite forgetting why i left the comfort of my apartment.

(its hard to avoid the pit of mansplaining when you do stuff like try to make analogies about how your brain works using the fourier transform)

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K

I don't really know.

I'd say I'm an introvert, because it gives me energy to be alone at home all day.

I even started working remote, so I could get this feeling most of the time even "at the job".

On the other hand I'm often going out and meet many people.

I'm living polyamorous with multiple partners which requires me to travel. Also, I organize a poly-meetup once a month and I go on parties 1-3 times a month.

I like these things and meeting with my partners, friends or even strangers at parties is an important part of my life.

But I was at conferences and didn't like it much and it felt kinda stressing being around these people. Same as with any job related contact I had, most people in the industry just aren't my kind of jam.

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Divyesh Parmar

I think I'm somewhere in between I can't be alone (which I'm since last 9 months at home as I'm not applying to jobs because of the fears) but I always like to study alone since my highschool and that also applied to college as well.

I hope programming job doesn't lead me to all alone I like some pal along with to work and have fun for a long time. Hahaha this feels more like I need to get a girlfriend ( oh shit! I don't even know what that feels like) I guess I need to get a life. :D :p :)

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Brian Ting

Introvert, but greatly appreciate being an introvert. I can often see/understand something that others might not observe.
However I would balance myself to get a bit social, hanging out with friends. Life should be balanced in every aspect.

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Jen Chan

Extroverted introvert. Have always enjoyed time alone watching documentaries or surfing the webz with a bag of chips and a beer. Lol! I’ve always been slightly more extroverted online but crave irl friend time now that I’m working from home full time. I had to work on growing the social side of me after being toxically careerist in my early twenties and some internet friendships that became super deep irl ones are a blessing. I just gravitate to communicative people.

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Dave Jacoby

I don't think I'm a full-on introvert, but rather one whose extroverted tendencies tend to be blunted by interactions I don't understand.

For example, I play guitar. I can stand on stage, focus of attention of hundreds of people, and play the opening lick to a song, because I am comfortable with the action and the setting. (In truth, my focus is mostly on the other musicians around me, and for what I'm doing, the curtain could be open or shut without much difference.) I've had full-on train-wrecks playing music, but know the worst case scenario includes several talented individuals trying to get things back on track.

But I am loathe to introduce myself to people I don't know, because I don't know all the ways a "Hello" could go off-track, and have experienced some several bad ones.

I've found that, the more open and less scripted presentations can be, the more I lock up, even when I know the subject matter and most of the audience. I've been totally locked up with "What's the future of your favorite programming language?" as well.

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Afiur Rahman Fahim • Edited

I always thought of myself as an introvert. But some of my closest people didn't agree. They thought I'm an extrovert, instead. Extrovert, Not "Less introvert"!

So that made me confuse and I started to look things up. After googling around a lot, I discovered that I'm one of those "In between" people that poses both characteristics depending on the situation or person they are in/with. There is even a term for it. Ambivert.

While this may sound very interesting or advantageous, it most of the time isn't. It makes people more confused about you and you sometimes feel like you're a man with two masks.

Any Ambivert here? :)

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Tobi

An introvert but can be an extrovert when necessary, absolutely love the time i spend alone cos that's when i get the best ideas and thinking done. Bad times are when people take your quietness for being a fool and when you come at them, they tag you bad. but its one of those things.
Love being an Introvert.

P.S. will read the book Quiet: The power of Introverts in a world that can't stop talking by Susan Cain

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Scott Hannen

As noted in many comments, it's very different from what many people think. I'm what people would consider an introvert. I like people and being around people, but after a while I need my quiet time. I don't care for large gatherings. I prefer to be around a few small friends.

Some other things I've read about introverts that I've found true of myself:

  • I can handle small talk but I find it slightly annoying and pointless. I'll never be rude because I know that people are just being friendly and making conversation the way they do, so I'll just play along and be nice. But who really cares what the weather is like? I don't like awkward silence either, but if it's bothering you please find a way to cope that doesn't require my participation.
  • I often structure my sentences in a certain way where the meaning of the first part isn't clear until I finish the whole thing. As a result being interrupted is extremely frustrating. If you interrupt me halfway through because the sentence doesn't seem to make sense - well, it's not supposed to make sense. It's half a sentence. If I finished, it would make sense.
  • Sometimes I just want to listen for a while without talking. Have you ever had someone interrupt and try to pull you into a side conversation when you're listening to someone else speak? Please don't be offended if I say, "I'm sorry, I'm listening to this."
  • Don't whistle in the restroom. Do you know that we can hear you? Play the song inside your head. It makes me want to start whistling something entirely different over their whistling and then say, "Oh, I'm sorry, were you whistling here?" (That might be a me thing, not an introvert thing.)

I'm not saying this to be mean to anyone. Everyone just wants to be nice and friendly in their own way, and that's how I take it. We're all different, so someone might not know what the inner dialogue of an introvert sounds like.

I'd be curious to know what the inner dialogue of an extrovert sounds like.

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Amanda Capella

In the middle.
I feel it, too. Some days I feel the need to be connected. Others, I feel too connected and exhausted.

It helps with software dev. I get to practice all the skills when I feel okay to do so.

I'm beat in one on one situations. I could do one on one coaching for days. Just enough energy, high focus, one person. Heaven.

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Sam Jarman 👨🏼‍💻

I think an extrovert if I'm honest. I enjoy comedy and improv theatre, and I get a rush from public speaking. That doesn't mean though, that from time to time, everyone can go away while I crawl into bed with a bit of netflix - haha!

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Funda • Edited

Extroverted introvert. I am an introvert by nature in that I rarely feel loneliness, I prefer being alone, and I am drained by being social---but I am highly socially skilled. Like I know how to relate to people, it just feels...I dunno...costly, somehow.

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ben

Introvert although I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone more and meet more people, so far it's going pretty good surprisingly.

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Patrick Wilkes

Introvert. Have nothing against people but I have this discomfort when around too many of them. I don't mind having a conversation with anyone I just don't initiate, more of a responder.

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Nihar Raote

Somewhere in between I'd say. Feel tired after interacting with a large group of people😪. But don't feel the same in a small group of people😃. And not to mention the introvert in me takes a nap after the first 2 minutes on stage 😴😶

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Ghost

I think at my age I should probably be more of an introvert these days as the connection between my thoughts and mouth tend to be a direct one, bypassing the 'ole filter. :-)

Seriously though, I think I used to be more of an introvert but with age comes confidence with a little bit of wisdom sprinkled in there. I have no problems speaking to a group of any size and have learned that being moderately outgoing one-on-one is a great way to build good client relationships.

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Elena.NET

We have a word in Spanish for somewhere in between in this question, "ambivertido". And I think that's the definition for me.

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Sean Walker

Introvert trying to be an extrovert

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Srikanth

Introvert out and out. The struggle is real for me when it comes to socialising.

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Triv Prasad

Depends on the situation. I hate social gatherings, pubs etc. However, won't bat an eyelid to stand in front of hundreds of people to give a talk.

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jeikabu

Started out a fairly extreme introvert, but as I drifted into management am riding the fence these days.
Survival instinct that comes with dealing with non-engineering departments, I guess.

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Pascal Maniraho

The former

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Bill White

Leave me alone. I'm working.

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Juanjo Salvador

Some days I'm an introvert person. Some days I'm extrovert. I don't know the causes, in fact.

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Olimpio

Way too introvert...And I'm happy that people around me are starting to accepting me as am I.

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Gaurav Chaddha

I'm an introvert but with if we have a common interest, I can talk for hours with that person.

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Vladimir

I am an introvert

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Sal Hernandez

In Between. An extrovert in the daytime & an introvert in the nighttime/weekends.

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skingrapher

100% introvert

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Maccabee

Definitely introvert, though I've realized this is a difficult industry to be in for those leaning to far that way and I'm working on moving closer to the center.

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Valentin Silvestre

Extrovert "af".
I'm not interesting, but I listen and enjoy to dance, drink & things.

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Martin Himmel

I'm an introvert who pretends to be an extrovert when I need to. Spending years in front of people kind of forced me to do that.

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emptyother

Introvert. And a few social anxieties.

A lot of people assume they are the same thing.

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Ben Sinclair

Yes.

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Dustin King

Introvert. Probably to an unhealthy degree.

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Bauke Regnerus • Edited

Nothing unhealthy being an introvert, that's just how the human brain works. Avoid working for companies with open work spaces and lots of overconfident egoists. Instead look for people who will respect you and understand you need certain conditions to shine.

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Gene

If being HYBRID accepted then me!

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simo • Edited
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Aswath KNM

Introvert .

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Tomas Mūžas

I am definitely an introvert. I really enjoy talking to select few people and I could to that all day, but when it comes to meeting new people or being in large gatherings, all my courage disappears