I've always had issues with anger and I have to differentiate between "expressing" and "releasing" anger.
The difference for me is intention: Releasing anger has to be intentional, not something done in the moment or even in the same location as the event (even if alone). Taking the moment to take a few deep breaths, walk away, then release the anger in a (mostly) controlled way can constructive for me.
Simply expressing anger can backfire, effectively allowing the expression to be a rote response over time.
As an aside: Have you read "The Cow in the Parking Lot" ?
Thank you for the comment, and thank you for beautifully summarizing the internal process of accepting the anger. Well done. :)
I have not read "The Cow In The Parking Lot" but it looks really interesting. Is it something worth picking up or is it more of a skim read?
(I would totally pick the book up but I've got a reading backlog that's even longer than my Steam video game backlog haha. Thankfully I'm mostly over my anger, but hey... we all slide sometimes)
I enjoyed the book quite a bit and have read it more than once, but it wasn't something I could skim (YMMV). If I remember right, there was some content from / inspired-by Thich Nhat Hanh, which was what brought to mind.
It's worth reading if you're interested in the subject, but was a bit "self-help-ish" if memory serves. Of course, I've slept since then, so... ;-)
Haha thank you. Yes, I’m clearly a Thich Nhat Hanh devotee. But that’s just because it’s hard to find Buddhist literature that focus as much in forgiveness. For some reason most of what I’ve picked up has felt, I don’t know... more strict?
So thanks for a fantastic recommendation. I don’t mind the self-help nature. I just clicked purchase. :)
I dig Thich Nhat Hanh's writing as well though I've not read as much of his work as I would like (only have a couple of his books, haven't finished them).
It does seem sometimes that what makes it to the west is less, I don't know, caring, maybe? Not sure I'm doing the sentiment justice. Things like the "enlightenment stick" and the master who "punched his student so hard he found enlightenment." I have it in my head that's Zen tradition, but I may be remembering it wrong.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the book. I think I'll read (finish?) The Miracle of Mindfulness now that I've got Hanh on the brain. That is, if I can pause trying to get Maya up to level 72 before September (BL3!!).
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I've always had issues with anger and I have to differentiate between "expressing" and "releasing" anger.
The difference for me is intention: Releasing anger has to be intentional, not something done in the moment or even in the same location as the event (even if alone). Taking the moment to take a few deep breaths, walk away, then release the anger in a (mostly) controlled way can constructive for me.
Simply expressing anger can backfire, effectively allowing the expression to be a rote response over time.
As an aside: Have you read "The Cow in the Parking Lot" ?
Thank you for the comment, and thank you for beautifully summarizing the internal process of accepting the anger. Well done. :)
I have not read "The Cow In The Parking Lot" but it looks really interesting. Is it something worth picking up or is it more of a skim read?
(I would totally pick the book up but I've got a reading backlog that's even longer than my Steam video game backlog haha. Thankfully I'm mostly over my anger, but hey... we all slide sometimes)
I enjoyed the book quite a bit and have read it more than once, but it wasn't something I could skim (YMMV). If I remember right, there was some content from / inspired-by Thich Nhat Hanh, which was what brought to mind.
It's worth reading if you're interested in the subject, but was a bit "self-help-ish" if memory serves. Of course, I've slept since then, so... ;-)
Haha thank you. Yes, I’m clearly a Thich Nhat Hanh devotee. But that’s just because it’s hard to find Buddhist literature that focus as much in forgiveness. For some reason most of what I’ve picked up has felt, I don’t know... more strict?
So thanks for a fantastic recommendation. I don’t mind the self-help nature. I just clicked purchase. :)
I dig Thich Nhat Hanh's writing as well though I've not read as much of his work as I would like (only have a couple of his books, haven't finished them).
It does seem sometimes that what makes it to the west is less, I don't know, caring, maybe? Not sure I'm doing the sentiment justice. Things like the "enlightenment stick" and the master who "punched his student so hard he found enlightenment." I have it in my head that's Zen tradition, but I may be remembering it wrong.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the book. I think I'll read (finish?) The Miracle of Mindfulness now that I've got Hanh on the brain. That is, if I can pause trying to get Maya up to level 72 before September (BL3!!).