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re: How is asking people to be inclusive policing things?

I totally understand yours and Emma's point. And also think that Sergio is having a bad attitude about it but as a non-native English speaker from a country where calling obese to someone, like myself and my 170kg of awesomeness :), who suffer obesity is not considered a bad thing in itself, of course minding the context, as long as is not used to ridicule or attack that person.
When we interact with people from the states that try, with good intention and no lack of reason, to create a more inclusive and safe space for everyone sometimes (and this I talked with others) feel attacked and even, to a certain point, oppressed just because of not having neither the language skills of a native speaker neither the social context you people have at the states.

For example, just 3 days ago I learned that "they" is the pronoun of choice that should be used when you don't know the preferred one of your interlocutor, but that presents a series of problems for me:

  • I don't know when or how to use it in a socially acceptable manner.
  • How exactly differentiate it based on context from the traditional they.

What I want to say is that everyone should try to get into each other's skins (metaphorically please) before judging the reason behind some words.

P.S: Just to get an idea of the situation for people outside the states, most of my European friends are advising me against trying to understand this and seek explanations because they think it only attracts criticism from people from the states if you don't silently follow guidelines.

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